When it comes to intimate pleasure, the female mind works a bit different compared to the male gender. Surprisingly, a fair amount of men forget about this during intimacy with his lady. Men become aroused very quickly and want the pleasure to gain quicker in speed until they finish. Women, on the other hand, do not work like this. Women do not have the ability to instantly become aroused. They need to slowly build up to it, rather than jumping straight into oral or penetration. How long she needs to become aroused will be different for every woman.  


During this time, it will allow her to become relaxed and produce her own lubricant. If a woman becomes aroused in the correct way, she will be able to enjoy herself more and her performance in pleasuring you will higher as she is more involved in the moment. However, if intimacy is rushed and she is not given enough time to become aroused, there is a higher chance for her to feel bored, not want to try or even feel pain during penetration if her vagina is not relaxed or wet enough. Unfortunately, when this does occur most women do not feel comfortable speaking up about it. Most women believe if they speak up about feeling pain during sex that their partner will be disappointed in them, so they do not mention it and just put up with the pain.

Another thing to remember is women also take a lot longer to orgasm. If a woman is not fully aroused and sex is rushed, it pretty much makes it almost impossible for her to finish correctly. It very common for women to not feel comfortable about speaking up about this.


How do you arouse a woman correctly?

Instead of jumping straight into oral sex, focus on kissing her without touching her breasts or clitoris. Gently kiss down her neck, while softly running your fingertips up her arm or outer thigh. You can even try massaging the back of her neck while you kiss her passionately and run your fingers through her hair. Make her feel special.


After a few minutes, you can start to tease her while you still avoid contact with her vagina. Yes, this may be hard, but your woman will appreciate it. Slowly kiss from her ear, down her chest and stop just past her belly button, while you start to gently rub her inner thighs. The point of teasing her by not touching intimate areas is to make her want you to touch her there, without giving her what she wants. Make her think you are going to touch her by running your fingertips up her inner thigh just before you her labia, then switch to and run your fingers down her other thigh. You can also try gently kissing up her thigh, then up to her lower stomach avoiding giving her what she wants. The more you tease her the more she will want you to pleasure her, but don't overdo it.

After a while, she will most likely be begging you to touch her. While you continue to kiss her, slowly run your hands from her hip to one of her breasts. Softly rub her breast while you gently kiss the second one and around her neck. Return to kissing her while you begin to gently run your hand down her side, down to her vagina. With barely any pressure, run your fingertips over her labia. You can discreetly dip your fingertips into her vaginal entrance to draw out her wetness and use it as a natural lubricant if needed. After she is wet, you can start to run your fingers through and around her labia with a small amount of pressure and massage her clitoris. When massaging her clit, imagine drawing the letters O, S or T with your fingertips.

After a few minutes of focusing on her labia and clitoris, you can gradually start to ease your finger into her vagina. Insert your finger partially into her vagina, remove it to allow any air to escape, then insert again. As you gently thrust your finger, you can also gently kiss and suck on her nipples or labia and clit. After some time, she should be very aroused. She will most likely be wanting to pleasure you and try penetration.

How To Correctly Insert Your Penis.

Consider a woman's vagina as an air pump. The more air trapped inside, the tighter her vagina will be. When inserting anything into the vagina whether it is a human penis, finger or toy, it is important to keep this in mind. When entering the vagina, insert in small amounts. Insert your penis particularly, take it out which will release trapped air, then repeat the process again 2-3 times, while gradually pushing in deeper each time your penis is inserted.

Finishing Correctly

For a man to finish correctly, he builds up thrusting speed higher and higher until eventually cums. However, most women cannot orgasm in such a short period of time. Yes, it may feel amazing for both people, but most of the time she would not have had enough time to completely finish. Here are a few things to remember:

  • Prolong when you finish.

  • Stop thrusting after a few minutes to change positions, play around with toys or go back to oral sex. 

Most of the time after the man cums it usually means the fun is over. However, this does not guarantee that the woman is finished as well. Keep in mind that some woman will say they have finished even if they haven't. Instead of walking off or starting to do something else, go back to pleasuring your woman orally. Thrust your fingers inside of her vagina focusing on her g-spot. You can find her g-spot by inserting your finger partially into her vagina, then curling your fingers up into a hook-like a shape. As a woman becomes more aroused, her g-spot will swell with fluid and feels quite squishy. By returning to oral pleasure, you are giving her more time to orgasm properly. She will appreciate you doing this for her.

Understanding how a woman's mind and body works are very important, especially when in an intimate relationship. There are so many women who generally do not feel comfortable to share if their desires or if they are in pain during intimate moments, due to their worry of disappointment. Because of this, it is always important to study their body language. However, by knowing exactly how to a woman processes intimate moments, there is a lower chance of her needing to speak up in the first place.